Dances with Saltat
by NullNoMore
Summary: Doug gets roped into Alexa's own personal skell fanfiction dream escape. This little jaunt is taking them all over Mira, and hopefully home again. But you never know, because Mira is a dangerous place, and you often bring your own darkness with you. Post game, 100% spoilers. EXTREME skell geekery, swears, alcohol, humor bordering on naughty, and some very dark places in Ch. 3.
1. Can Opener and Shotgun

A/N: Alexa needs help on a mission, and flips a coin. Luckily, it comes up Doug. Now to choose the right outfit…

Alcohol, mild swears, and things that sound a lot naughtier if somebody other than Alexa were saying them. All the wonderfulness (except Speedy) belongs to the mad geniuses of MONOLITHSOFT, I'm just borrowing it. I promise to try to leave it as nice as when I found it.

* * *

The Repenta Diner was about as loud as could be, full of BLADEs and civilians celebrating the recovery of the Lifehold. It had been like that for weeks. Mostly relief and joy, but partly people enjoying the last moments of their not quite real lives, when outrageous behavior couldn't affect your lungs or liver or other more delicate areas. Husbands and wives, boyfriends and girlfriends, all were soon to be reunited, that was splendid and worth celebrating. But not just yet, which also was a reason to rejoice hard for one more remaining Friday.

The noise was ear splitting, and her date was losing what little subtlety he had two hours ago. Alexa was just a little fed up with it. Still, all the ruckus did not cover the raging argument going on behind her. Argument wasn't quite right. The woman was reciting a very long and practiced list of her boyfriend's failings. Boring. Gloomy. Cheap. Generally unappreciative and full of himself. Loser. Alexa was enjoying it far more than was healthy, which was more a measure of her own boredom than agreement with the mystery woman. A little agreement, sure, she supposed the facts were right, she knew the guy in question, but she didn't place the same weight and disapproval on them.

She wondered if the woman was going to mention pickiness, and if she didn't, would it be okay if Alexa suggested it? The thought made her grin, which was a mistake, because Frye really needed no encouragement whatsoever. He grinned back, wolfishly, and lunged at her. She twisted her smile a fraction and shoved him back onto his bar stool, not going stingy on the elbow. He had the good grace to stay put. Good, he was staying in character. This was strictly a casual Friday night hang out, as well they both knew. He'd try something, she'd say no, again, he'd go back to drinking and shouting at every other regular in the place. Everybody happy. Alexa turned slightly to take another sip of her own drink. She was trying to work up the nerve to take a peek at the woman lodging her formal complaint to the Department of Pathetic Boyfriends. His own defense seemed to consist entirely of "But baby…," which was not going to win him any points. That's true on any planet.

What she was not expecting was a shriek of anger, and a largish BLADE slamming into her as his barstool toppled over. Girlfriend had apparently heard "But baby" one too many times, and had given Mr. Boring a healthy shove. Alexa watched as the woman headed towards the exit, storm clouds following in her wake. Then she turned her attention to the BLADE still tilted awkwardly over, practically lying there with his head in her lap.

"Hey, Dougie. Rough night?"

Doug looked up at Alexa from his awkward location, and smiled sheepishly. He was gripping the edge of the bar to keep from landing flat on the floor, but his feet were tangled in the barstool and he generally looked somewhat hopeless. "Hey, little help here?" She levered him upwards in an arc, and he swung back to perpendicular, barstool and all. She was a little worried he'd overcompensate and swing all the way over again, but nope, he managed it perfectly, armor and all. Alexa doubted anyone in the diner had noticed. No one had spilled a drop of beer, so nothing of importance could have happened.

"Nice work. Can I buy you another by way of thank you?"

Frye suddenly decided to pay attention to Alexa again. "Hey, hey, I've been buying the lady drinks, by way of hope to get some. Back off."

"Pfffft, I've been buying my own drinks, you idiot," said Alexa with good humor. "By way of, uh, I dunno, none of your business." She finished the last of her beer. Frye was already swinging his glass at another wobbly BLADE. Doug had ordered a fresh beer, but wasn't really putting his back into it.

Alexa slipped out her comm device, rechecked the bar's clock against her device's time, and slid to her feet. She glanced at the men to either side of her, first at Frye, then at Doug. The calculations in her eyes would have scared anyone with a remaining gram of observation, or sobriety.

"Come on, Doug. You're coming with me."

Doug looked at her, not without suspicion, and definitely not exactly soberly. "I'm told I'm not very interesting."

"Whatever. Boring is fine. Not really the point. I've got something neat to show you."

He took a last good sip, and followed her through the crowd, out onto the parking lot. Four humans were shrieking with laughter to one side. Again. Prone and BLADE were preparing to fight to the other. Again. Fridays at Repenta contained a lot of rituals.

She headed directly towards the Outfitters hangar, Doug loping in half time beside her. "Hey, shouldn't you have said good bye to Frye?"

"Do you really think he'd remember it by tomorrow? Because I get the feeling he's not going to care by 0300."

Doug nodded in agreement. Alexa greeted a few late night workers briefly, and made a bee-line to the test chamber. "Come on, Doug. It's almost midnight and I don't want to waste a minute." Then, in opposition to her words, she stopped in front of the door and pulled out her comm device.

"Look, Alexa, I think I better head home. I'm kind of drunk and…"

"Shhh. God, this is so cool. I timed it perfectly. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…" She skipped zero, slipping her comm device back in her pocket, and punching in the code. She stepped through the door eagerly. Doug followed, more slowly, his face showing lines of worry and resignation.

Inside the test chamber stood a single skell. Alexa led him towards it, her feet impatiently dancing on the deck. Not much larger than a level 20 baby skell, armor a sort of uninspired dark and dusty blue. Flight unit extended above the shoulders, feet more slender and pointed, almost on tip toe. Doug couldn't place the model, but Alexa looked up at it with barely contained glee.

To hell with that. When she turned to look at Doug, her glee slopped all over the place. "Behold! The Sakuraba SR005, all mine for 24 hours starting 1 minute ago. Isn't it amazing? Let's go."

"What? Me? I'm in no shape to pilot a skell."

"Like I'm letting you touch the controls. No, I need shotgun, and you're elected."

"By who?"

"They won't let me take it out alone, the party poopers. So I promised I'd take backup. Well, she got sick, so I had to forage a bit. It was going to be Frye, but honestly, you're a better choice."

"Thanks?"

"I was going to hope he passed out, so I could just sort of shovel him into the side seat."

Doug started to laugh. "Really? You think that would have worked?"

"Maybe I have something the techs have been testing. Maybe I could have used it on him."

"Alexa!"

"Not really. Cheese and crackers, what kind of monster do you think I am? Don't answer that," she added as Doug started to reply. "I was already trying to come up with a new plan, when you dropped into my lap like a big old apple. I gotta send that girlfriend of yours a thank you note."

"I think we'd need to go out on at least three dates to be boyfriend-girlfriend," Doug muttered.

"Oh, she'd probably have gone on five dates just so she could have dumped you good and proper. Lucky me, she got impatient. So, come on. Strip."

Doug gaped at her, open mouthed.

Alexa stood, hands on her hips, completely serious. "You heard me, soldier. There is no way you're going to fit with all that bulky armor on."

"I'll be in the back jump seat."

"Sorry, this baby is a prototype. No jump seats. You're going to have to wedge yourself right next to me."

"This is insane. I'm going home."

"Oh no you don't." She moved to block his route to the door. Like he couldn't plow right through her, but she had the power of justice on her side. "I rescued you from a concussion or worse. That means you owe me. We've already wasted 5 minutes, so get that armor off and let's go, Dougie."

"I am not going out on a mission without my armor."

"And I'm not going to try and squeeze you into the cab with that coating of junk on you. There is no space. Plus, you'll scratch up the interior."

"Come on, Alexa, this is crazy."

"Doug, I can't stand it another minute. Strip out of that armor or I'm coming at you with a can opener."

"Sheesh, control yourself, why don't ya, Alexa?"

[Pity the poor Candid and Credible technician, making his way on his late night rounds, about to enter the test hangar when he heard the end of this heated exchange. He turned on his heel and fled, and never quite thought of Alexa as the untouchable and insensitive Skellhead that the other techs held her to be. She never thanked him for that regard, nor understood it, but he was not to be dissuaded for as long as he lived.]

"At least let me run home and get some skell gear."

"No way. You'll take one look at your couch and find your true love, second only to your wallet." Her face lit up with sudden inspiration. "That gives me an idea. We've got to have some gear here that you could wear."

Doug sighed. "You're in no condition to be piloting a skell either, Alexa. Nobody in that bar is safe."

"Buzzz! You win the so-wrong prize. I was drinking non-alcoholic beer the whole time. Bleah. Yet another reason to keep Frye from paying. Honestly," she looked at Doug in disappointment, "do I look that stupid?"

Doug looked very sorry indeed. Aww, poor guy, he was actually worried he'd hurt her feelings. And she'd let him think that, if he'd just strip and get in the cab so they could go already.

"Okay, okay, I'll change gear. What have you got?"

Alexa pulled him over to a side area, where a rack and shelf stood with an underused look. She started flipping through the gear while Doug yawned beside her, scratching his sideburns occasionally. "Nope, too small, too small, bulky, too small, too small, ah, take this, and too small, no, nope, too small, too small, way too pointy, er… I think it's going to have to be this upper gear."

Doug looked in disbelief at what he now held in his hands.

"Come on. Daylight's burning."

"It's midnight."

"Darkness is burning. Slip those babies on and let's move."

"I am not going out in pajama bottoms and … and …" he stuttered to a halt.

"I'll have you know, those are some of Meredith's best stuff. Hot off the presses, you know?"

"It's an ace bandage!"

"It is nothing of the sort. Golly, Doug, it's time you expanded your way of thinking. Come on come on come one!"

Doug sighed again. "Like I have anything better to do…"

"That's the spirit! I'll help you with your buttons."

Doug dodged away. "No thank you, I'm not that drunk I can't take off my own … gah! Just turn around, okay?"

"Why? I've got brothers."

"I'm not your brother. Turn around, Alexa."

Alexa was happy enough to comply. She strolled over to the skell, gazing at its pulchritude, and doing a few quick scans to make sure that it was fueled and all the other levels were fine. She might be giddy, but she wasn't anything like stupid. As she ran and reran some checks, she heard various thuds of heavy armor hitting the deck, and stifled swears, and even one surprisingly high pitched yelp. Doug had probably forgotten to make sure the upper armor was switched off before putting it on.

"Can I turn around now?" Alexa whined.

"I feel like a circus clown," Doug was muttering. The silvery blue leggings clung to his body like a second skin, where it wasn't his actual skin on display. The upper, er, garment skimmed across his chest, side to side, no up, no down. He looked fabulous, as far as Alexa was concerned. Nothing pointy or heavy to dig into her side while they blasted around for as long as the fuel held out.

She patted the augment slot on his chest, making sure it was set for skell usage. Silly man, he'd left it turned off. He might have been just as naked as he was so afraid of being if he did that. She gave it a twist, and felt the hum of the ether defense coat him.

"Stop messing with that," he said, jumping back. So he was ticklish. Alexa didn't care.

"Doug, if you don't turn it on, it's not going to do you any good."

"I don't think it's going to do much good as is."

"Man, you are sweeping the so-wrong-prize tonight. That gear is quality goods. It'll protect you from pretty much anything, nowadays. They got their little stability problem licked almost a month ago, but no one's noticed. Besides, we aren't looking for a fight. Tonight is all about fun fun fun!" She beamed up at him. This was going to be so good, she could hardly wait.

Doug frowned. "I'm going to regret asking this, but what's so special about this skell?"

Alexa face lit even more brightly, her grin growing to a broad smile. "I am so glad I picked you, Doug. It only took you 18 minutes to ask that question. Get in the cab and I'll tell you."

He stopped just before he hopped in. "Weapons."

"The 005 has a pretty standard compliment, nothing special but it'll do."

He wasn't moving. Why wasn't he moving? "Ground weapons. We'll need them."

"Doug, Doug. Listen to me. This trip is all about the ride. I do not intend to touch ground for 23 hours, 41 minutes."

He crossed his arms across his chest as an expression of pure mule settled on his features. "We don't leave New LA without full gear."

She huffed but decided not to waste time on an argument she was doomed to lose. "Fine. Let's go back again and see what we can borrow."

The fruits of their second search were better than the armor hunt. Doug declared himself satisfied with photon sabre and fairly light beam gun, again Meredith products, Alexa noted smugly. She snapped her own gear into the weapon slots behind the seats. Finally, it was time to get in the skell.

And again, Doug balked. "What is it now?" she hissed. She was going to agree to whatever was stopping them, she knew that already. He just needed to spit it out.

"My armor. I can't just leave it there."

"You think one of us Outfitters is going to steal it?!"

He shrugged and looked sideways. "Somebody might think they could use it for something. Repurpose it. It's kind of beat up."

"I'll toss it in my locker, okay?"

"Thanks, Alexa."

"You better be buckled in by the time I get back."

He flashed her a grateful smile. "Yes, mom."

She gathered up his armor and made a dash for her locker outside. He'd collapsed it rather neatly, so it was surprisingly easy to wrangle. She could see his point: the armor had seen better days. Patched and repatched, very nicely done, but close inspection revealed the scars from months of hard fighting. Still, she gave a low whistle when she took a peek at the augments. She needed to get a list of those, because they looked to be a brilliant build, balanced right between power and defense, risk and reward. Leaning dangerously close to risk, but not quite. If Sakuraba could build that into some of their oh-so-boring if effective heavy gear, maybe they could take a bite out of the hot head market that Six Stars was squatting on.

Focus, girlfriend. We've got a skell to pilot, and a world to put tread marks across. When we aren't burning up the sky. Because, if this prototype was half what they promised, she was going to hit heaven within the next 30 minutes. She wondered if she could pump "La vie en rose" through the skell's sound system. Because, oh yes, this baby came with surround sound. Not jump seats. She just loved this dev team's priorities. Still, probably not a good idea during a test run. Not exactly what she needed in the background of her data commentary. But someday, aw yes, someday.


	2. Friends with Benefits

A/N: Alexa and Speedy the Skell are having a fine time in Noctilum, until someone cuts in. Some swears and extreme skell geekery. All things wonderful belong to the geniuses of MONOLITHSOFT.

* * *

Alexa was panting when she climbed into the skell. She hadn't exactly run all the way to her locker and back. Not exactly. Jogged. Ran. Raced. It was a matter of vocabulary. Doug was already asleep, snugged into the very small emergency side seat. Even without his ridiculous armor, he was taking a good chunk of space. Alexa spared a moment to check his harness before snapping on hers. Just in case. It didn't wake him the slightest, and there had been no need, really. He'd latched it perfectly, even getting the high altitude ditch linkage set correctly. A brand new version, and he had nailed it. He might be fussy and glum, but he knew his way around the inside of a skell. Alexa was glad she'd gone with him as emergency partner. Frye might have fit better, but he probably would have been way more trouble.

Alexa turned on the skell, which she had already nicknamed Speedy, and turned her attention fully to the machine. Almost no vibration at the start. She checked to see if it really was on, no, it was all lit green. When she eased on the controls, the skell lifted up more smoothly than any other she'd ever piloted. She felt the ballet toe shoe feet lift from the ground with only a whisper of sound. Smooth and quiet, already she was in raptures with this ninja of a vehicle.

She took it very slow as she left the hangar, very slow as she lifted out of New Los Angeles. The city winked below her, the BLADE tower now a confident misty green. No sudden turns, just a very slow twist as she oriented herself. The skell still was quiet enough that she could hear Doug snoring very very softly. Well, good for him, he'd get a nap and she'd have a blast.

She had her night planned. First Primordia, mostly simple ground maneuvers and some regular lifts and landings. Nothing too high, because she was in no mood to tangle with the sky whales. Those critters were very peaceable until they were suddenly not. Speedy did not disappoint. The transition from ground to flight mode went smoothly, no matter how quickly she repeated the shift, and over what bumps she landed or launched from. In fact, it seemed to lean into the transition. Usually there was a stutter, a pause, as the flight module took over, but this was so quick she didn't even notice it. Another approving and flowery remark entered her testing log. Most of the report still was numbers and scales, yes or no to this issue, ability met or missed, but occasionally she'd let loose with what the rest of her division called "Classic Alexisms." Whatever. "Transitions flow like glorious shafts of light, like that undeterminable shift between dawn and morning." If they didn't get what she meant, then no numbers were going to help either. God, she was falling hard for this skell.

Then she decided that both she and Speedy deserved more. Noctilum, here we come. A deep breath beside her had her turning her head for a second. Oh right, Doug. Still asleep, even more deeply. She'd wake him if it got really fun. Maybe.

She wove her way towards the jungle continent, but at the last minute she dodged the narrow entrance and punched the skell hard up and into the sky. It went to maximum speed without complaint. Standard maximum speed, she reminded herself with a grin. No one watching her would fault her lack of patience, lack of control. She had all night and all day to test every gram this baby had. Speedy lifted them up and over the giant leaves that marked the entrance. Then she descended, landing lightly on the petal of a large and luminous flower, taking a moment to recheck the records of the engine's performance. No overheating. Fuel usage a tad high, but nothing the lowest level augment wouldn't fix. Weapon systems still ready, not that she cared, but she figured Doug might ask, if he ever woke up. Plus, it was on the list of boxes to check off. Wasn't she being a good little test pilot? She deserved a cookie. Or something more fun.

She hopped over indigen, raced through narrow passages tangled with vines and dropped branches. She swore Speedy ducked itself lower to get through. Maybe it did. She made a note. They could call her crazy later, so long as they also checked to see if it was true.

But Noctilum also revealed problems. She wasn't so enchanted as to be blind to Speedy's faults. On the ground, switching speeds during a sharp curve had caused the skell to spin in a circle as it slowed, swinging almost like a pirouette. Actually rather fun, but she guessed some pilots with weaker stomachs wouldn't much care for that.

A more serious issue developed a few minutes later. After she'd sped through the narrow spaces of the Canopied Nightwood, she launched down towards the water. No problem there, so she'd headed straight towards the waterfalls, one impressive level after another. When she finally reached Everwhelm Falls, she took the skell right into the downpour, ascending straight up into the water. Even the weight of an entire river didn't make Speedy hesitate more than a fraction, but she noticed some droplets on the inner windows with some dismay. The seal left something to be desired, apparently. Maybe it had to do with having two people in the cab, because, yup, Doug, still breathing, still unaware of just how fabulous this night was turning out to be. She suddenly wished that her partner Tika was here, but the little hypochondriac had ditched her for a workup at the Mimeosome Center, something about a twitchy left arm. Alexa wanted somebody to share just how awesome this all was, to complain about those stupid droplets. She focused on the report with added zeal.

Did she dare? Hell yes. She followed the river, not quite as thoroughly submerged now, to the Celestial Ascent. When they reached it, she pushed it to maximum speed. Real maximum speed. Because that was the secret behind Speedy: not a nimble body or a quiet ride, sweet though those were, but a good 50% increase in velocity. Maybe she should have waited for a clean straight ride. Aw, screw that, floor it baby. As they climbed and climbed, up straight into the night sky with its impossible moon rainbows, spray slicing along the sides, she couldn't help but give a joyous whoop of laughter. At last. At long, long last, something perfect in her life. She'd forgive Speedy any amount of condensation, any weird shimmy on landing, just for this minute of amazing.

Only a minute though, because they were up and over, and skimming around the Celestial Roost. She regretfully slowed Speedy to a more restrained speed, because there were indigen up here that made sky whales look like guppies. Still, it was fun to weave around the roots, swerving left and right effortlessly. Once more, she parked the skell under a pagoda of scarlet tangles to review her flight notes. Yup, all good, fuel usage had really peaked though, just for that little bit of fun. If she kept that up, she'd have to check in long before her intended early morning pit stop. Well, that wasn't a surprise, although it was going to keep this darling from general usage unless Sakuraba came up with a solution. Oh please, let that happen, she prayed, because this was unspeakably fine.

She let the skell drift up, twirling daintily among the vegetation, neither branches nor roots, but something in between, when she saw it. Glinting like diamonds against the night horizon. Wings like a fan of knives. And headed straight toward her. Not what you'd call a surprise, but not welcome. Alexa calmly swerved down and away. When left alone, it would continue its majestic if deadly way.

Not this time. This time, it tracked the skell.

Alexa felt something sickly in her stomach. She shifted Speedy lower, closer to the branches. The Endbringer shifted to meet her. She did a tight loop, heading back the way she had come. She couldn't see it directly, but the rear cameras showed that it was following. Possibly gaining. She couldn't look to make sure.

"This doesn't make any sense," she said out loud. "It isn't aggressive. It should just leave me alone. Why aren't you leaving me alone?"

"S'okay, I'm here," muttered a voice next to her.

Great, moral support from a passed out Harrier. She almost giggled, it was so stupid. Right, enough of this. No time like the present to get the hell out of Dodge. She pushed Speedy to standard, then to true maximum. Even through her fear, she made a professional note that the transition continued to be smooth, the engine remained astonishingly quiet. She aimed the skell higher and higher. The telethia followed still, but the gap between them must be increasing. If she got far enough away from Noctilum, it wouldn't dare to follow. Or at least, that's what she hoped.

Speedy performed brilliantly. She kept an eye on the dipping fuel level, but felt confident that they'd be okay. Hell, she could high tail it all the way back to New LA this way if necessary, this fast, with a telethia on her butt. Oh, wouldn't that get her in a world of trouble? Once BLADE had fought the beast off, with who knows what casualties and damage, Nagi would turn and kill her where she stood, before she knew what happened. She really wasn't happy with that whole image.

But, never fear, just as she crossed into deep ocean, the telethia swept its way back towards its roost, smoothly, as if it had never deviated from its standard, stately route. Alexa dropped the speed (not a shudder, still perfect), and leaned back in the seat. She felt immense relief, which forced her unwillingly to admit how terrified she'd been.

"Test flight encountered Telethia over Noctilum, was able to evade it using maximum speed. However, it is possible that the creature was attracted to this skell. Perhaps because it flies so quietly." She made this verbal note, fully realizing that whoever transcribed it would think her utterly insane. But she couldn't shake the feeling that maybe, just maybe, the Endbringer wanted Speedy as a friend. With benefits. She could not repress a full laugh at that thought.

Who knew indigens had Friday night rituals too?

She was both very glad and somewhat sorry that Doug had missed it all. Except to comfort her in a fully useless way. She sure wasn't going to mention it to him for a couple weeks at least, because she had to admit it had been a little too risky for her tastes. Bailing out, that high, was not a sure thing, and Speedy would have definitely been a scratch. She didn't like the fact that she'd put this darling skell in such danger. She didn't need Doug nagging her about that kind of carelessness. Really, people, take a chill pill, she had done nothing too edgy and had responded wisely and successfully. Bad luck and good luck ran wild on Mira. All these thoughts ran through her head as she glided over and down towards the ocean surface.


	3. Threesome

Part 3: Threesome

A/N: Everything is far from fine in Doug's head. Warning: Seriously dark, violence against the innocent, end-game spoilers and swears. This chapter is why this ball of fluff is M. Not what I expected in this joyride of a piece, but here we are. You could probably skip if you wanted, but the last chapter(s?) won't be as good. All good stuff belongs to the hard working geniuses of MONOLITHSOFT.

* * *

Doug was dreaming. That dream. Again. He didn't know why he was still surprised whenever it came around. Every time he fell onto his couch, too exhausted to make it to his real bed, chances were he'd have that dream. Sometimes it appeared even on regular nights. And it was guaranteed, absolutely a lock, that if he fell asleep after a night spent at the bar, the whole scene would roll through his head before morning. Sometimes he thought that he drank just to get the dream.

Why would anyone want this dream? It was always the same, and never the same, and it always ended badly.

He would be standing there, across from Lao, arguing, begging him to change his mind. They weren't anywhere special, sometimes it was Los Angeles, the real one, sometimes it was some anonymous barracks. Only a few times he thought it was Mira. Where they were didn't matter. The main thing was, he knew for certain that it was before any of the craziness, before Lao had done the first wrong thing, whenever that had happened. Before he started ditching his team. Before he started betraying everyone still alive. Maybe before there was a reason to betray anyone.

Doug would stand there and beg him, over and over, not to turn against everyone who loved him, who stood by him. And Lao would look at him with that face that always looked like it was going to give him a special smile, but not just yet, those dark eyes that should be full of gentle mischief, before shaking his head. No. He never spoke. God, Doug wanted to hear his voice again, but all he got was a glance and a shake. A movement that was so Lao, it made Doug choke up remembering it. It almost made the rest of the dream worth it.

Different nights he'd be yelling rather than pleading, or threatening. But mostly it was just begging. And it never ever worked.

And it was never just them. There was always a third person, different from night to night, standing just a bit beside Lao. Most often, it was Elma, but several times it had been Lin. He'd seen Irina, he'd seen Gwin. Once, just once, he'd seen Tatsu, which was almost ridiculous enough to change the course of the dream. But it hadn't changed that time either, just speeded up, making it worse. There were other people too, on different nights, members of Lao's team, his team, guys from the Army, Lao's brother-in-law. Sometimes he wasn't even sure he'd met the third person, if it was just a random stand-in for somebody that was important to Lao.

And then, even while Doug was still pleading, after Lao shook his head "no", Lao would lift up his hand and fire the gun he'd been holding.

Thank God it hadn't been one of the really bad nights. The ones where Lao calmly aimed at his own head and fired. Or the ones where he aimed at the extra person and fired. It had been the third kind.

Usually, he'd wake up shaking. Sometimes he knew he'd woken with a shout. The one time where the third person had been little Chenshi, that had been the worst. He'd almost stopped begging, because he just wanted to look at the little girl, his darling Princess Sugar, he wanted to get her to wave to him or smile at her Uncle Doug, but the logic of the dream couldn't be avoided. He'd begged, Lao had shaken his head, and lifted the gun and… Doug had woken up screaming, and although he covered his mouth with his fists, he didn't stop howling until nausea hit him with unstoppable force. He'd spent the rest of the night in the bathroom, vomiting until there was nothing left but dry heaves. Even then his body kept trying to remove the traces of that hellish play-through.

Doug was getting to where he really didn't mind option number three so much.

So, actually, no surprise that he'd had that dream, drunk as he was earlier that evening. Falling asleep in a skell wasn't going to change that. There he was, in the Outfitter's hangar this time, Lao in front of him, and hey, there was Alexa standing just to the side. He begged Lao to stop. When he was awake, he sometimes wondered if his dream self would ever get tired of offering the same arguments, the same bargains. But in the dream, it always felt fresh, original, almost as if it was going to work. Not as in "this time it will work" but as if this were the only chance, ever, to make things change.

He begged, over and over, please, bro, don't do this. Do not follow this path. Reaching for Lao. And Lao almost smiled, and shook his head, and turned the gun directly on Doug.

He knew in reality he'd never hear the explosion, but that's what always woke him. Except this time he didn't hear it.

"Doug, Doug! Wake up!" The skell was swerving violently side to side. His head smacked against the right window, fairly sharply. If he hadn't just woken up from his own private hell, he'd be scared and a little bit in pain.

"What's wrong?" he asked, trying to keep his voice low and calm. Not 100% successful, what with his heart still racing from that dream.

"You, you lunkhead! You started shouting and moaning, and I can't very well give you a good pinch to wake you up." The skell instantly fell still, quiet and motionless. When he peered out the windscreen, he was surprised to see that they were actually moving at a pretty nice clip along the ocean surface.

"So you risked losing control of your skell just to give me whiplash?"

"I'm writing it off as extreme maneuvers, and it worked, didn't it? I was afraid you'd twist out of your restraints." Alexa shot him a worried look before snapping her eyes back to the front.

The dream hadn't been that bad, had it? Except he really hadn't liked seeing her there. She had nothing to do with this, it just didn't feel fair. She was just trying to do her job, and getting him to help her was an accident.

"Sorry, just a bad dream, I guess," he answered her.

"Some dream." They rode in silence for a while. "Lao was in it, right?"

"I say something?"

"Not much. You kept asking something, just a mumble, but his name came out pretty clear. You weren't happy. Doesn't take much to guess." More silence. "You okay?"

"It's just a dream. I asked him stuff, but he didn't answer. Then he … he just went away."

"You knew him back on Earth, right? Before all this hoopla?"

"If you mean the fucking destruction of everything I have ever loved, yes."

"Right. Hoopla. Whatever."

"Sorry. Sorry, Alexa." Doug wished he could stretch, pace, move somehow. All he could do was sit tight, crammed in a space that suited Gwin more than somebody his size. "That dream always makes me a little edgy."

"I get it. Not your first time, huh?"

"No, I guess not."

Alexa did a few sweeping curves along the water. Gentle but fast. Soothing. "You know, Dougie, it wouldn't kill you to tell someone about it. Me, I just know skells and engines and skells and weapons and skells. And skells. But there's gotta be people worth talking to about other stuff."

"You're worth talking to. As long as it involves skells."

"Important stuff, noodle brain. Because you did not sound like a happy camper. That can't go on forever."

"Don't worry none about me. I'm okay. And skells are important."

"Why, yes, yes they are." Her voice shifted to contain a little more of her usual glee. She maneuvered another looping circle. "Well, if you're awake, how about we kick this party up a notch?"

"As in going home for some pizza?"

"Listen to you, what a wild man." Alexa was already easing the skell upward, but fast. "I said, kick it UP, not let it die in a corner. Let's go to Sylvalum. Energy mist is forecast, and I want to try and squeak a few more kilometers out before morning."


	4. Flipped Out

Part 4: Flipped Out

A/N: Sylvalum and Speedy wobbles. That's okay, because Alexa still loves him.

Warning: Extreme skell geekery, and Doug swears a little, but can we blame him? All the wonderful stuff belongs to the mad geniuses of MONOLITHSOFT. I fear I wrote everything for one line.

* * *

They were falling, and not in a good kind of way. Speedy had chosen precisely the wrong time to reveal a massive flaw, and Doug was not helping things.

Alexa gripped the controls a little more firmly and spread the arms of the skell, trying to get some balance, or at least have it choose only two out of three axes to spin on. One would be better, but right now she'd take two. Two and a half.

It flipped and tumbled like a rag doll tossed from an upper story window. Probably flung by a very angry and probably sticky toddler. Thank goodness the skell came with full restraints, because otherwise they both would have slammed into the ceiling at least once. As it was, Doug's weight was shoving her side to side with every roll. She could feel him trying to wedge himself more tightly into the emergency seat, but it wasn't doing much good.

"Hit the engines, Alexa!" shouted Doug.

Sure, she could do that, admit defeat and move on, but she wanted to know why this was happening. Normally, at this height, you cut the power and your skell drifted to the surface, nice as you please. It was actually kind of sweet when you did that, with the wind whistling past their darling little fingers and the silence a blessed relief. Not that she needed a break from noise, what with Speedy being a genius of quiet motion. Absolutely brilliant design, really, except now they were tumbling into a likely crash.

Stretching outward wasn't helping. Alexa flexed the arms upward, almost in a superhero pose. The skell rolled on its vertical axis all the faster, but it seemed to be spinning less in other ways. Interesting.

"Alexa! Do something!"

She ignored him. Stretch, spread, stretch, spread. Almost like swimming. The flipping was pretty much contained to two directions now, a sommersault and a twirl, with the weird cartwheeling motion almost gone. She checked their altitude. Maybe 20 more seconds? Stretch, spread. Cannonball?

The skell contracted and the spinning stopped. Whooo weee, yeah baby. This she could work with. She reached up, sharply, and stretched, as if jumping straight upward, even while falling, then swung the skell's feet just a little forward. Yes, that was it, they were falling straight now, no tumbling or shaking.

"Still falling! Alexa!"

Just before they hit the water, she eased a little into the throttle. Speedy landed as gracefully as a dragonfly on a pond's surface, and settled into a dancer's pose. The very quiet ticking seemed to say, "What? Was there something that you wanted to point out?"

Her eyes were flashing from one panel to the next, checking levels, trying to figure out just what was happening. The readouts showed no problems. But unpowered falling was definitely not Speedy's strength.

Doug was breathing heavily beside her, his hands still gripping the edges of his area. When she spared him a glance, she noticed his knuckles were literally white. Huh, so it wasn't just a figure of speech. Live and learn.

"Do you know how hard it was not to grab the damn controls from your hands?" he growled out.

She snapped her head to look at him, appalled. "You wouldn't dare!"

"Somebody else, I would have done it long ago. What the hell were you thinking?"

Alexa gave him a smile mixed with a grimace. "Prototype. Gotta find out what's wrong with it, you get it? You can't expect the whole thing to be perfect. Almost," she sighed. "So close."

Doug groaned. "This is not some game you can play without consequences. We could have been an oil slick on the water."

"I would have punched it long before then. Honestly, Dougie, it's okay." She fell silent as she reviewed the power usage graphs.

After a moment, Doug asked, "So what did happen?"

"I don't know," she replied, distractedly. "If I had to guess, this skell is so flexible, so maneuverable, that when I went into free fall, it didn't have anything to keep it steady. It went all five ways at once."

"No kidding."

"Anyway, zip it for a second while I record my log." Doug complied and Alexa rattled off the facts, hiding nothing of the disastrous yawing and spinning. Doug had to admit, she wasn't candy coating the events.

When she was done, he raised another question. "What gave you the idea to curl up that way? The skell, I mean."

"The cannonball? Oh, I don't know. Sometimes, when you've got a test that's failing, it helps just to shut it down, start it up, see what happens. Lots of times it'll go back to normal and you can keep going. You can get better data that way."

"And you send something that will freeze out onto the battlefield," Doug added coldly.

"No way! We always end up spending an insane amount of time, trying to recreate the first bug, and until we do, the skell or gun or whatever is going nowhere. But in the meantime, you can learn a lot about what's good about a product. Even if the prototype is scrapped, you can end up with some ideas for other stuff."

She scrolled through more readings, wind speed, weather, angle of all the maneuvering thrusters. "You know, just the other week, there was some armor. It kept actually falling off. Right off my arm, onto the floor, no joke. Ridiculous piece of junk. But I'd slap it back on and keep going."

"Why bother?"

"Because for one thing, the client was paying for the tests and I wanted to give them as good a job as I could. And for another, maybe it was worth fixing for some other reason."

"Was it?"

"Nope. It was a disastrous, horrible, awful, wretched…"

"I get the picture."

"Lemme finish," she said. "… stupid waste of resources. Professor B. is an idiot sometimes. It showed a lot of skin, sure, but ugh."

"Thank god you didn't get a chance to put it on me."

"Female version only. Double ugh."

"Got any pix?"

"Shut up." She elbowed him hard, without taking her eyes from the screens. Stupid move, all she got was a good shot of static up her arm. Score one for Meredith ether-based armor. She might be able to see his ribs, but she wasn't going to be able to break them. Pity.

"Well, that's all I can get from this try. Time to do it again."

"Whaaaat?"

"Pro-to-type, Doug. Weren't you paying attention? I gotta try things out, and if there's a question, I gotta do it more than once."

"So we're doing another death spiral?"

"Yup. And it's going to be even better this time."

"I thought we were headed to Sylvalum."

"We are. See? Just over there. But I'd rather try this maneuver out in the open ocean, away from indigen or, I don't know, pointy cliffs, what do you think?"

"Okay, death spiral here we go." Doug heaved a sigh and took on an improved wedged position.

Death Spiral 2.0 was almost boring in comparison. Speedy climbed, Alexa cut power, Speedy freaked out like a rubber spider on an elastic string, Alexa went in and out of full cannonball position, and Speedy obediently dropped like a lawn dart straight for the ocean. Landed like a fairy. Alexa was pleased. "Well, that answers the question: are the problem and solution reproducible. Yes and yes. That's good news. Let's do it again."

Doug couldn't even muster the energy to argue.

Some point after Death Spiral 4.0, he made a suggestion. "What if you went into cannonball before dropping?"

"Ooooh, let's do that." Alexa gave him a generous smile. "I'm glad you're getting in the spirit of the thing."

"I've got nothing left to lose. My stomach already served me papers."

"Silly."

It was amazing! Doug's idea worked better than Alexa could have dreamed. The skell didn't spin, didn't plummet, didn't even do that weird arrow straight to the ground fall. Once she spread out Speedy's arms from the initial tucked bundle, the skell assumed the free fall position it was supposed to, arms wide, riding slowly against the wind as it glided towards the water.

She was a little nervous about the landing; they'd never quite completed the fall without a little engine boost. "I'm going to go for it," she warned Doug. "No power."

"You're the pilot." He fell silent and let her work.

She was watching their speed, their acceleration, the effects of the moisture in the air, a dozen different measurements, all at once. She listened to the machine, searching for any complaint. The ocean was far, then closer, then right upon them. Speedy swooped almost flat against the surface before making a small loop and settling upright, toes tracing overlapping curves in the water. Alexa could see droplets on the windshield. Outside, not condensation.

"Wow," she said.

"You think this thing is trying to show off?"

"I honestly don't know. Ready for the next go round?"

"How many more?" Doug asked, his voice as glum as his face.

"Last one. I was going to quit before this, but then you made your suggestion."

He grimaced. "Me and my smart mouth."

"It was brilliant. Thanks. It is going to help so much." Alexa was already piloting the skell upward.

It was not the last run. She did it three more times, ending with a little unexpected swoop each time. Doug kept up a suffering silence. After the third try, she parked the skell on the water's surface and gave a long and complicated commentary, pointing out various readings that Doug hadn't even noticed her making. Very professional sounding, even if her voice gave a little whoop when describing the landing.

She shut down the recording, and turned to Doug. "Sylvalum?"

He sighed, a deep, sad sound. "I'm going to regret this."

"It'll be fun. Sylvalum has those wide open plains, gentle curving dunes. We're going to tear it up, Doug."

"Not that. I'm going to regret what I'm going to say next."

"You don't want to go home?!" Alexa said in horror.

"No, yes, not the point." He sighed again. "What happens if you hit the power during the death spiral?"

"I don't know. Haven't tried it, have I?"

"Some pilot's going to freak out and do it. What if it gets worse?"

"Wow. Do you think it could? What would that be like?" She did not sound as horrified as she should have. In fact, she sounded gleeful. Doug groaned again, closed his eyes briefly, and waited. She paused, and thought about it for about a tenth of a second. She turned to him, her eyes shining. "Of course, you know we'll have to try it. Right now."

They tried it, and Alexa was deeply, deeply disappointed. Speedy simply broke out of its multidirectional irrationality and resumed a steady climb. There wasn't even a groan or shimmy as the skell rearranged its limbs into normal flight. The one consolation for this ho-hum response was the powered flip the skell did just before it righted itself. That was fun. Sakuraba would be thrilled that it didn't go into Death Spiral Cubed, but it was soooo boring. Now a flip, that had possibilities.

"Did you see that?" She slid a sly look at Doug.

"Never seen it before. This is totally new to me," he replied. He was frowning, as if he had suddenly realized something life changing.

"Honestly, I think this baby can fly upside down. I have got to try it again."

He spoke low and haltingly. His baritone voice sent a shiver up Alexa's spine. "Alexa, I've never said this to anyone before…"

"Yeah?"

"And I'm not sure I'm ready to say it now…"

"Yeah?"

"But, I'm going to regret it if I don't…"

"Spit it out, Dougie!"

"Alexa, do a barrel roll."


	5. Nitty Gritty

Chapter 5: Nitty Gritty

A/N: Finally, we can get to the nitty gritty in Oblivia (emphasis on gritty). Speedy suffers yet more environmental abuse and unwanted grabbing.

Swears, and more EXTREME skell geekery. Sorry, it's mostly Alexa's head, that really is all there is to offer. More comfortable than Doug's, right?

All the really wonderful stuff belongs to the geniuses of MONOLITHSOFT.

x-x-x-x-x-x-

Sylvalum was perfection itself. The rising energy mist hit just as they arrived, and Alexa was gratified to see the fuel levels push back towards full. As far as she could measure it, Speedy refueled just as quickly as other skells of its weight class. Even when she pushed it to true maximum speed, it still gained, although only fractionally. Brilliant. The client would be pleased, the dev team would be pleased, and more importantly, she wouldn't have to run home for refueling until mid morning. The remains of the night were still hers to play in.

And Doug's, she supposed. He'd been quite a good sport about all the repeated dead drops from flight. He'd even cracked a joke. Not a great one, but she was willing to give it some respect. Not quite a joke, because she really did want to see if Speedy could fly in anything but the regulation position. Which, however, she was not going to try, at least not right now. There was a list of tests yet to run, and no matter how shiny the new idea was, she had to get through the regular old tests. Regular old fun fun FUN tests, which made it easier to bear.

She'd mostly practiced more land speed on the silvery white territory of Sylvalum. Both on ground and Lake Ciel. That last part was a little nerve racking. Alexa knew how tender some of the lake indigens were about proximity. And if she wasn't aware of it, Doug was awake now, and ready to reel out encounter rates and average damage. She tuned him out. No need to convince her to be careful about what she was steering toward, around, and most often away from. The last thing she needed was a coronid stomping on them with their abnormally tiny hooves. Well, tiny for a thing that out-sized and possibly out-weighed a milesaur.

She ran and re-ran Speedy through the list. Start, check. Brake, check. Right, left, checkity check. Still did that weird pirouette when shifting from really fast to normal while making a sharp turn. Didn't that surprise Dougie!

Finally, she opened up the throttle for as long a stretch as she could manage, up and down the gentle dunes, and was pleased that the fuel consumption was barely noticeable. That was it for the list. She needed to pause to make some more notes in her log. She parked Speedy on a fairly safe outcropping, and settled in to responding to all the checkpoints.

Doug kept silent. At times, she thought he dozed off again, but, no, every time she checked, he was awake. After she finished her log, he finally spoke.

"Can we go home now?"

Alexa sighed. Wow, he really was as boring as his date had said. "Really? You are in the fastest skell on Mira, and you want to go home?"

"I could use some sleep before I have to go out on today's missions."

"You can sleep some more in the skell."

"I'm awake now."

"You'll be awake if we go home."

"Maybe not if I could, I dunno, actually go to bed. In an actual bed."

"Whiney whine whine, Doug. I'll get you home for breakfast. I should be able to find somebody else by then." She smiled at Doug, and patted his arm. He shrugged.

"So, I guess Cauldros is next, right?"

Alexa laughed. "Buzz. Man, Doug, you win the trifecta of so-wrong-prizes."

"Not Cauldros?" For once, he sounded almost cheerful.

"Definitely not. This darling is super weak to all things thermal. The developers know it, Sakuraba knows it, we all know it. Let's not accidentally melt it to test that."

"Not much good if it's that weak."

"Speedy is awesome," she said defensively. "It's just not ready for that kind of challenge. Just like I am not going up against a coronid in it."

"Ugh. Evil headless monster reindeers."

"Exactly. I don't need to prove anything against lava, Doug. They'll work on the armor once they're satisfied with the engine. Personally, I am very satisfied. Mmmmmmm so good."

"Sheesh, stop drooling, Alexa. So, back to Primordia?" he asked hopefully.

"Can Harriers not count? One two four five! What did I skip?"

Doug shifted uncomfortably in the cramped seat. "Fine, but is there a chance we can stop and let me stretch my legs? I swear I can't feel my feet."

"I know a great spot. Just hang on."

She shifted into flight, lifting first straight and then smoothly towards Oblivia. Speedy responded just as willingly as it had all night long. She checked the fuel and decided to go big. She'd floor it until they reached their destination, a little look-out spot that thrilled her whenever she had a chance to visit. Safe, too, so Doug could get out and stomp around a bit without looking over his shoulder.

Speedy ate up the distance between the two continents, and she could see the beaches of Oblivia rushing towards them. She kept the skell low at first, enjoying skimming over the waves. When they hit land, she noticed how smoothly Speedy transitioned to rolling form, but she didn't keep it that way for long. She let the skell rise up, at a gentle angle, but only a little, because she was determined to shoot straight through the Big Arch. Through, not over.

That she did. Then, because she couldn't help but show off a little, she curved along the nameless river towards the falls. "Watch this," she said to Doug.

Straight into the water (condensation be damned), then a sharp and dramatic shot upwards, through the cascades, bursting into the sky at the top. The vicious patrolling thingies, the ones that looked like tiny planes (for the life of her, Alexa could never remember their name), did not know what had just flashed past them.

"Sweet, right?"

"Yup. Now let's put down at Dorian Caravan."

But Alexa wasn't settling for half measures. She twirled with the skell higher and higher, looping in shifting circles. She wanted to see sunrise from Mount Edge Peak, because her first night with Speedy merited that kind of conclusion.

"Alexa. Put down at the Caravan. Do that cannonball thing, and let's land."

She shook her head. Doug didn't know what she had in store, or he'd never argue. She ignored him.

"Alexa. We need to land. Now." His voice had shifted from mildly whining to coldly insistent. Alexa finally paid a fraction of attention.

"Doug, it'll be worth it. Just hold on a minute or so more…"

He wasn't wasting words. "On your right. Sandstorm. Big, bad, fast. Set it down."

She turned in the indicated direction, and saw it. She knew that Sylvalum could be lost under blizzards, but the sandstorms of Oblivia were more like annoying and gritty fog. Except this one was different. A solid wall of sand, reaching above the Giant Ring, already eating up most of the Aaroy Plain. Around them, the pre-dawn light was dimming, and the wind was making sharp squeaks.

There wasn't time to climb all the way to the peak, and the lower areas were fairly sheer. Luckily, she was looping wide enough that there was another option. She steered out further from the lake, from the peak, towards Floating Reef.

"What are you doing, Alexa?" Doug sounded truly worried.

"We've got enough time. We can outrun it. I think."

"You think?" Doug was twisting in the seat to keep an eye on the storm. "It's moving faster than you realize."

"Speedy can do it, can't you, baby?" She pushed the skell forward, but she was beginning to fear that Doug was right. She kept her gaze focused on the floating island, with its dangling scarf of waterfall and several sheltered platforms.

Then Speedy coughed.

Their velocity dropped almost instantly to normal. Fast normal, but still normal. Not the kind of speed they'd need to escape the storm. Speedy was still handling correctly, but the increased wind and weight of sand was making that not quite good enough. And visibility was definitely reduced, to put it mildly. Oh lord, they were going to slam into the side of the reef if she couldn't manage it better.

"Down! Now!" shouted Doug.

"Wait…"

Doug didn't wait. He reached over, grabbed her hands, and forced the controls into descent. She saw the tip of the reef flash by them on the left, then they plowed into the edge of a pool. Success! Until they went over the edge, and Speedy started Death Spiral: The Oblivia Edition.

She put Speedy in and out of cannonball, and as soon as she did, Doug shoved the controls forward and slightly to the right. He'd never actually let go of her hands during this disaster. She'd be really angry about this, later. Right now, she decided not to fight, to see what he intended.

The skell slammed into another level, partially hidden by the waterfall, slid off that edge as well, partly because of momentum, partly because of the ever rising wind, and then landed, for good, on a third, rather small open space, well tucked beneath the bulk of the reef.

Alexa didn't need a hint. She popped Speedy into slow, then park, then shut the darling down. The cab would have been silent except for the slight ticking of the engine and the solid whistling of the wind.

She twisted in her seat to glare at Doug. "What was that?"

"Me getting us down. You're welcome."

"I could kill you."

"Yeah, well, you have that chance now. I repeat, you're welcome."

Alexa turned back to the control panel. She turned on minimal power, and took as many readings as were available. There were a lot of them. She started her log again, listing them off, describing the way Speedy had handled, and most importantly marking the exact time Speedy had failed. To the second. Because, yes, she had made a note of it.

"I'm done. Do you want to get out now?"

"Still mad at me?"

"Yup. So, do you want to get out?"

"Sure."

They exited the skell. Alexa was glad to. She didn't like being that close to someone she was that angry at, and besides with the engine shut down the cab was getting a little stuffy. Outside, they landed on moist mossy green. A few saltat danced and preened over by the edge of the shelf, but they weren't too interested in the humans. The area was almost dark from the storm.

Doug stomped around, shaking his legs. He looked wobbly and uncomfortable. "Can't feel them for beans. Why the hell is there no jump seat?"

"You couldn't have been all macho hero grabby control guy from a jump seat."

"I've flown in these storms. I know to get down. And I have NEVER seen something this bad. Well, the good news is, the worse it is, the shorter it lasts."

Alexa shrugged.

"Now what?" Doug asked her.

"Why are you asking me?"

"This is your party."

"Hmmph. My party is fun fun flying around, not stuck on an impossible island. Which is what we are."

"Stuck? Do you mean it?" Doug looked genuinely worried. "So, are we going to need to put up a flare?" He did not sound happy at all about that option.

"Well, I'm not putting Speedy up until I get a real good look at the engine, and I'm not doing that until this storm is over. Just what I need, open the hood and have a couple liters of sand blow into it."

"So temporarily stuck."

"I'm going to take a nap."

"What?"

Alexa was already up in the cab, rummaging around for the tiny emergency pack. Bingo, shiny space blanket, oooh so modern. She slid down from the skell and curled up at its feet. "Wake me when it's clear," she ordered Doug, and instantly fell asleep. She didn't even notice when, a few minutes later, Doug slumped down next to her and fell asleep too.


	6. Handled with Care

Chapter 6: Handled with Care

A/N: The storm gets worse, the kids need to relocate, and just what is it with the life forms on Mira?

Swears, full-on spoilers and sorrow (but not as bad as 3). Plus, your headcannon of Repenta Diner on a bad night will never be the same. All the glorious stuff belongs to the geniuses of MONOLITHSOFT. Putting this up in a bunch because school is out and the kids will be claiming the internet soon.

* * *

"Alexa."

Somebody was shaking her, not particularly hard but very insistently. Alexa gave a sleepy grumble.

"Shhhh!" Doug was still shaking her, but she realized he must be practically whispering into her ear.

"Wh…"

"Shh!" he hissed, more urgently and if possible more quietly. "You need to wake up, but don't move, got it?"

Alexa opened her eyes, a painful and gritty experience. She hadn't considered the amount of sand blowing around that night. Dumb. She was curled up, under Speedy, same as before, but Doug was crouching over her. She reached a hand out from the blanket to try and scrape some grit from her eyes.

"We need to move away from here," Doug whispered. "Quietly and slowly. I'm praying slowly will work. You think you can roll to the other side of Speedy?"

Through her still bleary gaze and dimmed by the considerable amount of dust blowing past, she saw feet. Big feet, clawed and shuffling softly, not more than 2 meters from them. Saltat. Big bellied, sparkling, powerful saltat. Make that two saltats. Oh jeez, why had they come over here?

Doug was scooting her over to the other side of the skell, putting it between them and the killer honk-hoo birds. She half rolled, half commando crawled around Speedy's feet, the blanket dragging off her as she went. Not that Speedy made much of a barricade.

Doug was peering around the skell. She heard the saltat shuffle a little closer, and one made a short clap with its wings. She could barely see over Speedy's tiny feet from her flattened position, but she felt the sharp rush of air. Not good. Then she brightened. It was obvious.

"We just need to hop into Speedy."

"I tried that. One of them rushed me."

"You'd have left me?!"

"Shhhh! Not exactly. I was going to lug you in if necessary. I was just testing. It didn't work. As soon as I started to stand up, it got aggravated."

"So is this safer?"

"No."

"Where're your weapons?"

Doug looked down from his crouch, misery in every line of his face. "I left them in the skell. Yours too."

Alexa couldn't even choose the right words to respond to this extreme case of fail Fail FAIL! But, then, she'd left them inside too. So she kept her mouth shut and unknowingly mimicked his misery.

She scanned the area. There was a smallish door shaped opening in the wall behind them. About 30 meters, straight on, flat sand, no rocks to dodge. She tapped Doug's shoulder and pointed. He nodded, raised three fingers, counted down on them, and they made a dash for it.

Why did indigen insist on chasing you, even when they knew they couldn't get you? Was it a pride thing? Or maybe they counted on getting the 1 out of a hundred that was stupid enough to slow down before it was really safe? Alexa and Doug would have ranked 96 and 95 in how not stupid they were, getting into that cave or crevice or whatever it was. More like a corridor. One more weird not-quite natural area provided by Mira.

The birds honked and hooed and pecked at the entrance. If a saltat could clap angrily, these suckers were doing just that. Then they stopped, very suddenly, and retreated from the entrance.

"What are they doing?" asked Alexa. It just didn't seem right.

Doug scooted towards the opening, crouched low. Oh no, not that. She pulled him back.

"You asked. I was going to find out."

"Doug! Have you lost it?"

"If they've moved away, that's because something else has caught their attention. I want to find out what."

"How would you know?"

Doug managed to look both embarrassed and grim. "I've been watching them. Saltat in general, I mean. I like them. Kind of. They're kind of cute, if they don't attack you."

He was sneaking back towards the entrance, and Alexa, after a moment, followed. She figured he might need a yank back suddenly. Or a shove forward, if he said anything annoying or stupid. She still wasn't completely at peace with his grabby hands having been all over Speedy's controls.

He stopped, not quite even with the doorway. Alexa was right behind him, and only popped up a little out of her crouch to peer over his shoulders. The saltat were circling Speedy.

"If they peck my skell, I swear I will fricassee them!" she hissed.

"Shhh. Wait for it…" whispered Doug, a note of hysteria in his voice. Or was it laughter?

The birds bobbed left, in unison, gave a clap, and then a deep bow. Not just in front of Speedy. They were bowing directly to the skell itself. Their wingtips swept arcs in the moss in front of the motionless machine. Then they raised their wings high. Honk. Hooooooooo. Bobbing, clap, bow, repeat. Honk. Hooooooo.

"Oh my sweet 3/8ths crimper," whispered Alexa. She covered her mouth, hard, to keep from giggling and drawing the saltats' attention.

Doug was scooting back, quickly. "Let's give them some privacy. This could take a while." He slumped down against a convenient wall. The ground was more sandy than mossy in the corridor. Still dim from the storm, but mercifully not as blowy as outside. His face reflected none of the humor that had been in his voice moments earlier. "You know, Alexa, we may need to send for help after all. Once saltat choose an, um, object of affection, they can be hard to shift without a lot of firepower."

Alexa gaped at him. "This was not supposed to be in the plan. This was supposed to be all fun, all…"

"…the time. I know, I've been listening. Maybe they'll move once the storm is over," he offered.

"Didn't you say it would be over fast?"

"Yeah, well, about that, this thing is a little bigger than usual. Maybe I'm wrong about that."

Alexa took a deep, slightly dusty breath, and settled in comfortably against the wall directly across from Doug. "So we wait? I do not like this at all, just to be clear about it."

"Not my first choice, either."

They sat in silence for a few minutes. Alexa wrote up some reports in her head, trying various explanations for Speedy's predicament. The skell just had a naturally high level of animal magnetism, no augments required. Oh lord, let Candid and Credible never think of developing that augment, because she wouldn't put it past those little freaky geniuses to succeed in some fashion. That would be an unholy mess. Repenta on a Friday with ? You'd have to hose the place down with bleach solution afterwards. Ewww, barf.

Might as well record her ideas, except for that last one. Doug was still quiet, drawing something in the sand with his finger. Alexa pulled out her comm device and rattled off a quick and quiet list of problems, points, and hypotheses. She crawled to the corridor entrance, snapped a few pictures, and then crawled back to Doug. Once again, she settled in, back to the wall, legs stretched out, toes almost to Doug's hip. He'd managed to draw an impressive collection of eights, or race tracks, or really bad burgler masks.

"When did you take up bird watching?" she asked cheerfully.

"Oh, uh, it was one of those things…"

"Let me guess. You had binoculars and a pocket Audubon book and everything back home, only here the book's no good and you really really do not need magnification." She didn't think this was likely, but it was a start.

The lure worked. "Naw, I don't really care about birds. Just saltat." Doug sighed. "They were one of the first things I went up against, on Mira. Big fat mama of a saltat, just as Noctilum opens up. You'd think you were in for it, but she was a push-over. Bust her apart, walk away."

"So you impressed on her. Baby's first tyrant."

Doug glared for a second, then looked glum again. "Don't be nasty."

Alexa frowned. She wasn't nasty, was she? Well, actually, yes, yes she was. Damn straight. Her cool adventure was over, ruined by these overgrown turkeys and a whole lot of sand. But it wasn't Doug's fault. Much. She rephrased her statement. "Yeah, well, so you met Mrs. Saltat and decided to study the kids."

"Something like that. Except these guys would eat her for lunch." He shrugged.

Alexa considered what he'd said for a bit. Then she shook her head and smacked his foot, not lightly. "Nope. Not buying it. What's the real reason?"

"That is the real reason."

"No. You fought in the Battle of the Life Hold." He winced at the overblown but well-earned title. "There were things there that would scrub any mere saltat from its honored position. So, what's the real real reason?"

Doug looked down at the stacks of loops beside him. "Lao."

Well, shoot. Nothing's going to scrub that, thought Alexa. She waited, but Doug didn't continue. She huffed and said, "Okay, I'll bite. What's the connection?"

"It was his team that ran up against Aria. They weren't prepared, so my guys jumped in to help out. This was early days, remember. We were so bad at this thing. It's embarrassing to think how weak we were."

More tracing. Doug's voice dropped. "It became a running joke, especially when we realized what a nothing threat it was. Lao started it. Two days after, I got a picture of a random saltat. The note said: 'Oh noes itz big!' He sent me a shot of every saltat he found. Morning, sunset, asleep. He'd be standing closer and closer, selfies mimicking the damn things.

"Well, I wasn't going to be shown up by some damn Pathfinder. I found bigger and badder ones. One of the perks of my job. I sent my pix, and it just snowballed. And they got weirder the farther we explored. I got to know them pretty well. I've probably watched those stupid birds in every corner of Mira. Even when there wasn't any threat, I'd spend some time, watching what they got up to."

"I can't believe you miss him." Alexa couldn't quite keep the amazement out of her voice, because of how utterly trash Lao had proved to be.

"I knew him a long time, okay? I was in his wedding, not best man or anything, but there. I got to go to all of Chenshi's birthdays. She even gave me a special tiara, for random tea parties. I looked like the biggest, stupidest pushover with that damn thing on, and I wish like hell I still had it.

"And now I can't think about him without remembering how he tried to kill us all. It's just like when my old man died, all over again. I went home to see to his affairs, get the body all settled. Hadn't been home in years. Everybody at his funeral had to tell me just how much he owed them, how he'd cheated them, what he'd taken them for. Sometimes they'd wait to give their condolences first, but a bunch didn't even bother. I didn't miss my dad much, but I missed not being given the chance. Hated that." Doug stopped. He grabbed at the figure eights, scraping them up and crushing them in his fist.

"When I got back, Lao got me drunk, told me to screw them all, never mind what they said. But I couldn't then, can't now. He's gone and killed himself and I got nothing left I can even bear to think about. Except I still miss the bastard." Doug raised his fist full of sand up, almost as if to slam it into the ground, but then he just laid it gently into the wreckage of figures, opened it slowly, and let the contents spill out. He wiped the space smooth, and started drawing infinities again.


	7. Dances with Saltat

Chapter 7: Dances with Saltat

A/N: Sure, Alexa and Doug can chat some more, but there are better things to do when stuck on a mission. (Get your mind out of the gutter and into the stars, please.) And then something weird happens.

Swears, spoilers, sorrow, and then something else again. I'm telling you, I want this as an indigen tyrant DLC so bad, I don't even know where to begin. All the good stuff belongs to the geniuses of MONOLITHSOFT. (Oh, and I'm not sure I got Doug's geographic history right, please send in corrections.)

* * *

Alexa watched Doug for a long time after he stopped talking. As far as she was concerned, Lao was trash and didn't deserve any of Doug's sorrow. But it wasn't _her_ heart that was broken. So she'd ignore her fury at Lao (because when stealing the precious and darling ProgAres, the inspiration for little Speedy, when that is the least of your crimes, well, that can only be the mark of a true villain, because honestly what can be lower than skellnapping? Trash. Garbage. Skunkratbastard.) She'd be a big girl and ignore it and maybe try to cheer up Doug. Because she honestly didn't want to see him any unhappier.

"Tell me something good about him. Something from before any of this hoohah happened."

"I can't, Alexa. I just can't."

"Sure you can. Finish this sentence: Back on Earth, Lao really helped me out that time he…"

"He didn't really help, much. Mostly got me into trouble."

Ah, but that was promising. A ghost of a smile flickered on Doug's face. She could work with that. "Okay, so how about this one." She cleared her throat and made a really bad imitation of Doug's voice. "There was this one time that Lao really busted me when…"

"What was that supposed to be?"

"You starting the sentence."

Doug groaned, but it wasn't a sad groan, not exactly.

Alexa grinned. "I can keep this up all night. Not that there's much left, and don't get me started on how much I hate this waiting. Ahem." She dropped her voice again. "Dear Diary. It was the most embarrassing thing. There was this one time…"

"Enough. I give." Doug took a deep breath. "I was short on cash, just a little, but I really needed a side job to tide me over. The administration wasn't looking kindly on pay-day loans just then. Anyway, Lao said he'd hook me up with something, working at a local party. I thought it was a waiter job."

Alexa started to grin. She had a guess.

"It wasn't a waiter job."

Alexa grinned even more broadly. No, she was not going to say her guess.

"It was a bachelorette party." He was having trouble meeting her eyes.

Alexa could barely control her glee. "Say it! Say it!" she thought silently

Doug squirmed. "It was an exotic dancer gig.'

Alexa laughed so hard she thought she'd pass out. "Doug! You didn't."

"I kind of did."

"Kind of did or totally did?"

"Just did, okay? I was there and everything. Didn't want to break a promise."

"Did, didn't, whooo, you are the end. And the administration was okay with this instead of a loan?"

"Not after they found out the second time."

"Oh Doug, does this mean you did and didn't more than once?"

"Just twice. Second time, there was a niece of the commander at the event. Very pushy and not happy when I was strictly professional. I'm pretty sure she ratted me out."

Alexa could almost hug herself with delight. Square as 90 degrees Doug with a crazy past. Loving it. He was laughing a little too.

When they'd calmed down, she looked at him. His face wasn't quite so haggard. "And that's why you…" she started to say softly.

"Yeah, dammit, that's why I still miss him. Because only Lao could get me into that kind of trouble. And get me out again. He'd found another job for me, a real one, even before the shit hit the fan. He came in and proved, PROVED, that it had all been a horrible mistake, very natural but regrettable, and that I had only been responding in the most gentlemanly way possible, not to be repeated.

"There was a local dance club. Fancy stuff. Salsa, Latin, even the waltz. They were always hiring extra dancers for patrons without partners. He'd gotten me a job there. Made it look like the party gig had been an accidental mis-booking. I kept it up, the real job, until we got transferred. Worse ways to earn a few bucks on a Friday night."

"Oh my god, Doug, you were a private dancer."

"I believe taxi dancer is the proper phrase, if you want to get insulting."

"Already been there. So you shuffled old ladies around the dance floor. Once again, you are a wild man."

"No way. This place was fine. People dressed to the nines, hot girls in hotter outfits, people getting their classy-ass groove on. Just not everyone had a partner all the time, and they knew the place had staff that could show them a move or two on the dance floor. I was pretty good, and I got better. You should have seen me tango."

"Where, exactly, did you get good?"

"High school. Mrs. Pearston ran the PE department, all one teacher of it, with an iron hand and an unholy thirst for social dancing, and I'm not talking the polka. We learned or ran laps. In North Dakota. In January. Outdoors."

"Dance or die, then."

"Pretty much."

Alexa looked at him, speculation once more filling and refilling her expression. "Tango, huh?"

"Yup. My specialty. Muy caliente."

She winced at his accent, but once again, she just needed bait to get what she wanted. She put on her best skeptical expression. "I just can't see it."

"Honest. I know my milonga from my waltz."

Time to present her credentials. Up the threat to his reputation. "Doug, Doug, pull the other one. You're no dancer. I can tell. I didn't become president of the Engineering Department Ballroom Dance Team because I was gullible. You're going to have prove it."

"Not likely to happen."

"Oh Dougie, it is happening now. I am calling you out, you lunk. Better dancer gets breakfast off the other one," she added slyly. "Now, lemme just get the right music." She pulled her comm device out and started swiping. It didn't take long. "Tango, accordion, nope, nope, got it." The first strains of the dance floated into the corridor, a dizzying series of scales up and down the keyboard of a battered instrument that had seen a thing or two.

Doug looked up in confusion. "Where's that coming from?"

"The skell outside. Didn't I tell you about the sound system? Lord, I love Speedy like no one's business."

Alexa got up and dusted herself off. She paused the music, then stood straight, proudly, her chin up, hands almost behind her back, waiting impatiently. She wasn't sure that he'd follow until he did. She was relieved when Doug got slowly to his feet. It never felt good to look like an idiot alone. She pushed play and tucked the comm device away. He stood at full height and extended his hand with exaggerated courtesy. She didn't rush to accept it, but when she did, he pulled her firmly towards him, a close but incomplete embrace that marked the start of their dance.

And so it began. Hands together, arms together, but neither quite at shoulder and hip, an offset v, and Alexa smiling with a wicked grin, Doug looking more determined. The first steps were nothing to write home about, but at a certain point Alexa swayed away to trace a detailed schematic in the sand with her foot before bouncing her toe playfully against the back of Doug's ankle. He nodded, almost imperceptibly, and swung her out and around in a very slight dip before drawing her in again. More steps, lengthened this time. Doug stayed mostly to her left, only occasionally stepping forward more deeply, but after that first dip he swung her plenty, if gently. For her part, she followed, adding little flutters as seemed necessary.

"Spin to sweetheart," he muttered. And they did, shifting to short little tripping steps that ended with them almost side by side, facing forward. The corridor was a little tight, but they were managing fine. Alexa turned to him and readjusted her left arm, off his shoulder and, slowly, back upon it, almost to his neck, and slanted into him. He stepped back and almost dragged her a few paces before beginning the standard dance steps again. Back, forward, sometimes small, sometimes long and quick. Another spin, this time with Doug doing all the spinning, his feet flicking with improbable kicks, and her tripping around in respectful orbit, ending with a very slow step that had his left foot and her right one sliding back and forth almost atop each other.

Damn, skippy, but Doug knew tango. So did she, her favorite dance. What more could they do? Good thing she was an Outfitter, ready with a checklist to run through.

She stepped a little closer to him, and their position shifted into a tighter embrace. This limited their movements a little, with respect to spins and twists, but allowed their feet to grow more playful. She tapped the back of his knee at one point, he made a nice pivot with her as the axle. She noticed that even as they took the simplest long strides, he'd flick his foot ever so slightly, almost tapping his toe in the sand. She responded with a flutter of her own.

"Sweep and dip," he warned her. But she didn't need warning. His foot went wide, an arc ending behind her own, and pulling her leg up towards him as he bent her backwards. He hadn't warned her about the slight spin he added after that, but she wasn't surprised by that either. He snapped her up, and she leaned into him again, dropping her hands from his shoulder and hand and lifting her arms slightly back behind her, low and straight, her weight resting entirely on his chest. After a pause, she swept them over and forward with an exaggerated motion.

Then back into postion, much more open, you could have fit Tatsu between them now, moving quickly with long strides, he let go of her hand as they flared into separate but linked twirls.

"Lift? Hip?" she asked. He nodded. The music was coming to a close, she knew it well, and she wanted a really good ending. He twirled her to his side, bent slightly then boosted her as he stood up, just enough so that she rode on his hip for a second before slipping back to her feet. One more twirl, four more steps, and a final attentive sway ended the song.

They stood, panting slightly, hands clasped, chests touching lightly. Doug looked as if he'd been hit on the head with a hammer, as if he'd found a million credits under a sofa cushion, as if he'd been the first man on the planet to discover tango. Which he was. Alexa was beside herself with happiness. Not as good as Speedy, but this was now a thing. Poor Doug had no say in this. She was going to build a dance floor somewhere in New LA and then proceed to use him to burn it down. Brilliant. People would applaud and lose their sanity. She could almost hear the clapping now.

"Oh God." Doug suddenly twisted Alexa around and behind him. As she turned, she looked over his shoulder, way up into the platter-sized eyes of two very attentive, very large saltat. At some point during the First Tango on Mira, they had stepped out of the safe corridor and into the open. And had kept going. Damn the hypnotic qualities of that dance!

"Honk."

"Hoo."

Clapping. Then bowing. Then…

Alexa had Speedy open and Doug had practically flung her into the capsule before launching himself into it as well. Their ill-conceived tango had not just wandered them into saltat territory, it had also gotten them pretty much right up to Speedy. Something about moving towards as well as to the music. Alexa would think about their luck later. She and Doug had enough to do, rearranging themselves in the tight space, along with more than the requisite number of elbows (certainly there were more than 4 flying around here).

"Do you need to check the engine?"

"I'll do it later," she replied. Speedy's gauges lit up, and the engine seemed to be running acceptably. She wouldn't push it to maximum, or even half maximum. The storm was ebbing, if it wasn't over. Time to go.

"Alexa, look." Doug's voice was weird.

Not more sand? Or bigger saltat? Or something even worse, because Mira always had worse?

Their rotund bellies made it difficult, and their short legs limited their stride. But, the two saltat were clearly dancing, bill to bill, one wing high, one wing curled low, an offset V formation, sliding backwards and forwards, a perfect indigen version of….

She looked over at Doug. He had his comm device up, recording the indescribable scene.

"If this doesn't go viral within a day, I don't know what would."

"Gonna monetize it?"

"Hell yes."

She watched as one saltat spun out and back into the other's embrace. "Or maybe we could not tell anyone."

"They'd find out."

"Maybe. Maybe not."

"I'll think about it."

Epilogue: They got home safe. Alexa bought Doug breakfast. Speedy was okay, after an air filter change. Tika never came back from the mimeosome center that day, so Doug reluctantly agreed to let Alexa sub for one of his team members as a way to continue running her tests. Cool beans! And if you see something weird on Mira, please enjoy it. Enjoy it. Enjoy it.

* * *

A/N: The internet is full of tango videos, drool, but when I steal, I steal from the best. You want to see something amazing? Hunt for "tango Vienna 2013 Arce Montes." Watch it once, then again with Alexa and Doug in mind. Then again with saltat. Either way, it's amazing. If you are a hipster, you may prefer OK Go's Skyscrapers (once it goes green, especially), but good as that is, it can't lay a finger on it.

And, mercy, if you can't tell how much I love this game, you aren't paying attention. I. love. This. Game.


End file.
